Progressing through Pain

I have recently had to let go of someone that I care deeply about. He was the singularly most important person I ever let into my life. I didn’t invite him in, I didn’t seek him out, he appeared. It was poorly timed and brought crashing to the surface much pain for me, and an unwanted look at my past, what I had once aspired to be, and what I had become. It was a thrashing, sometimes quite cruel period of time; I cried deeply and believe that part of my heart is now untouchable because of it. On the flip side I am forever in his debt for making me see that the person I had become was quite ugly, unforgiving and absolutely headed in the wrong direction.




It is for me, in a person’s eyes. It’s what I notice first and it’s what I key on. I tend to watch the subtleties of eye movement, and how someone looks at me when they talk. His eyes shine light, life, power, strength, truth………..



But I let his light dictate my life. His opinions become my reality. That is never good. I’ve come clear back to listening to my heart, knowing what is best for me. Knowing that sometimes friendships are toxic, that each party is handling something wrongly and passing it off on each other.



Hopefully, one day, at another time, we can meet up again, see each other in new light, and be open and honest from the start. Create a friendship worth nurturing and growing into.



But for today, I’ll progress through the pain, and breathe deeply when it hurts. I will let go and let God, for this day, this hour, and this minute.