Progressing Naturally is a Relative Term

I like to think that I am “progressing naturally”, but in actuality, I’m pretty sure it’s my goal and not really what has occurred.

At 47, I have a seven (7) year old son, a house I purchased on my own, a job I exist at, just paid off my car (YAY), a few what I’d call really true and good friends, my health is good, I’ve kept in decent shape, and make enough to provide what we need…….

Life actually is good.

I’m a native New Englander who transplanted to Texas about 14 years ago. This was a knee jerk reaction to a death in the family, and boredom of a life that was routine.

I married at 18, right out of high school, to the neighbor down the street. Yes, I was one of the 18 year old’s who thought she knew more than anyone older than herself, thought I could beat the odds of marriage. It lasted less than 2 years. Then jumped head first into another marriage, an older man, who was settling down just as I was revving up! That lasted much longer, but my soul wasn’t in it. I always knew something was missing and I was searching for something more. So yes, two failed marriage are behind me…….
And that’s where they’ll stay.

I’ve made a million mistakes, made my work a priority, partied like there was no tomorrow, gave what I thought was my heart at wrong times, I’ve lost everything before, and clawed my way back.

So although I may not be “progressing naturally” in the true sense of the words, I am absolutely progressing. And I’ve decided to finally follow my own inner calling, and take a chance and move forward to where I choose to be.

And really, isn’t that what we are supposed to do anyway? Aren’t we supposed to be taking care of ourselves first? Enhancing our own lives so that we can be whole and happy? I had made a career of putting everyone and everything before myself, looking to others to provide me with that inner peace and outer smile. It has taken 47 years and way too much money in therapy to come all the way back to realize, it’s in me!

So I’m putting on the ruby red slippers, I’m clicking my heels and I’m bringing it all home. To me, myself and I.